Sick Day (2007)

a puckish fever
rapes my brow
see the stale sweat mingle
with my limp locks in single
file down my nose now

pale skin so clammy
like a mollusk from the sea
pasty like kindergarten glue
oh this will never do
i must get healthy

my gut gurgles
and grumbles like a beast
it twists and contorts
and makes nasty retorts
when i try to feast

so now i'll lay me
down to bed
and try to drown this unrest
oh i'll do my very best
to rid this sickness from my head

Dream Analysis (2007)

perched on a grassy lawn
a stranger named Love
cradled me til dawn

then alone in the sea
and shipwrecked remnants
floating beside me

baptism of vision
below the surface
i see my mission

save that which i hold dear
from great white danger
fierce and piercing fear

mad eye shark advancing
mother still swimming
why is she chancing

this painful agony
from this foul monster's
harsh acrimony

call her from the water
safe on the landing
with both her daughters

i seem the only one
who notices what
the brute might have done

the analysis clear
my heart is heavy
with man angry fear

Insomniac (2007)

i raised myself from bed
so angry so angry
these dreams filling my head
so full of rage and dread

i find no peace in sleep
no relief no relief
from rankling thoughts, this grief
that weighs me down and keeps

the bright light of morning
so lovely so rosy
from salving my yearning
my grey eyes adorning

every night the same scene
so tired so tired
as i lie in between
beautiful sleep and mean

ugly dreams that curse me
suffering silently
with no draught from Circe
Morpheus spurns mercy

and so this war is waged
every night every night
ever my night mind caged
my waking mind enraged

A Lover's Oath to Her Hunter (2007)

dearest hunter
i do not love you
of that you needn't be bothered
for i cannot give myself to someone
unwilling to take me
so you, dear one, are safe

find in me
the temporary solace you seek
use my body
like a security blanket
to wrap round you when you're feeling
needy and selfish and angry at her

press your face between my thighs
and feed on my creative juices
let them sustain you
in your bleak period
of mourning

i will make you no promises
i will hold for you no expectations
i will hold my tongue to your flesh -
kiss your sweet wounds -
to keep it from asking for your secrets

i will not love you
nor will i seek love in exchange
for this fleshy commerce
for love is a foreign blasphemy
which you have had stolen
and for which i cannot
find a taker

Bathwater Baptism (2007)

this is a season of drought
yet here i sit in a bath
full of water
guilty pleasure for a girl
with a guilty conscience

let this elemental baptism
cleanse my sinner's soul
sweat beads boil and bubble
on my brow
my breasts
the nape of my elegant neck

coaxing out the impure thoughts
the unclean desires
that make up my insides
thrusting and pulsing through my limbs
coursing through my cunt
salivating wetness
awaiting foul kisses
and hot beer-soaked breath

water wash over me
end this damnable dryness
purify my womanhood
and make lush groves
where long the cacti
have held prickly parliament

make me into a mermaid
fair and ferocious
give me the song of your sirens
so i can open wide my mouth
and howl at the moon
and the man in my room
to come love me

Curse of the Mad Hag (2007)

let me cackle like
a howling mad hag
in a room with thorny walls
and muddy floor
and pristine rose-colored ceiling
that can never be reached
only prayed to

deafening clangs
of the stones being laid
round my fortress
clangs like angry church carillons
bursting eardrums
shaking souls and
defiantly professing abstinence
from all things precious and pleasurable

who will come visit me
in my well-guarded cell
my dungeon of intrigue
built so fastidiously
round a sappy soft center
that would melt
on your tongue
if you'd let it

hungry rats' and spiders' eyes
peer greedily from
the cracks and crevices in the corners
praying for death and decay
as i huddle, mad hag,
in this threadbare blanket of trust
that no longer warms
old bones and dried flesh

curse those foul vermin
and curse the fair sky
that riddles prettily
with sugar-coated lies and false promises
curse the ripe moon
and this womb
and the empty dead hole
beneath these breasts

and curse you
who never comes to claim me

Little Girl Wounded (2007)

there's a little girl within me
so small and so eager
covered with wounds
and scratches and barbs
bruised from experience
silenced by memory
pinned down by fear

she curls up in my womb
fetal and frail
cursing what men
may come visit there

untrusting, unsure
unable to breathe
the big belly breaths
of release
she holds tight her past
and hides it from me
and it's strangling
this woman's uprising

i seek to console her
to hold her
and know her
so that she can recover
and transform her misery

but she's built a wild
fortress around her
pins and needles
a carefully placed grid
around my carnal cavity
through which only
the bravest of hunters
can navigate

go ahead, girl
cry your stale tears
and moan and mourn
for your losses
then pack up your baggage
and leave me
so i can once again feel
and succumb
and become

For My Friend (2007)

Last night I got a call
a voice from my past
rang in my ears
like the sweet clink of cocktail flutes
at a party

so near to my heart
so dear
and so far away now

his timbre so frail and frustrated
disappointed with life
questioning and confused and isolated
angry with the ridiculousness
of this counterclockwise society

a soul so big and beautiful
nearly snuffed the week before
and now trying to recover
in the aftermath of
a single selfish motive

what a great disservice to this world -
my world -
if he left it
with no goodbyes
no book collection or explanation
and only a torrent of tears
and regret in his wake

but, then, I, too,
am selfish
for his life elevates my own
and I want him in it

he challenged me
to duels of debate
binges of banter
feasts of philosophical suppositions
waking the weary wolves
of my seeker's intellect
exciting me from complacency
where often I reside
in dull repose

the spark of life grew stronger
with our converse
relationships, religion, and politics
talk of people, places, things
a universe of language
that only he and I
could speak so fluently

four fluid hours
of cross-continental connection
built a bridge
across our loneliness
four fluid hours
licking gingerly his wound

and then the sign off
with a promise
to resume again soon

Words (2007)

words - my salvation
secret harbingers of relief
and release

written and rolling
along this pale parchment
of shaped pulp

words - mystic ciphers
revealing my trapped treasures
buried

suckling secrets
like pigs at the teat
of a sow

rabid, hungry
these words are drawn
from my pen

words - my salvation
making it safe for me
to breathe

A Moment's Pause (2007)

contentment comes to visit me
usually in fleeting
small moments
which I, in my busy chaos,
skim over silkily
like the otter skims over
a mud mound

but on rare occasion
she flies to my consciousness
a hummingbird
whizzing at my ear
staring me in the face
a little gift
from the world

here I sit on my porch
no moment extraordinary
and life around me
stills and purrs
sweetly for a moment
contentment, fair and simple,
sits with me for a spell
and I embrace her

Neighborhood Watch (2007)

there's a dead woman's body
in my neighbor's back yard
in a car she lies lifeless
and dull

great choppers rise through
the cold sky like vultures
peering with eyes
crafted by engineers

hush hush now
don't tell the residents
panic is unlovely
and uncivilized

sit in your house
alone - keep your doors locked
this world is
a dangerous zoo

Sea Bird (2005)

shoulders back
belly in
posturing for the crowd

the mynah birds
are cackling
the wolves
begin to growl

the looking glass is fogging over
where is Alice
where is Red Queen
fragrant battles over roses
yellow, white and green

I let my capelet drag the carpet
elegant and regal
and walking tall
converse with all the
pelicans and seagulls

they are my subjects
they are my crowd
white pages in my service

then twirling around
I leave the ground and
fly away like a dervish

Freedom in a Sun Dress (2005)

I am running
running to the water
fire at my heels
flames lapping wildly
must get to the water
free my soul of fear
freedom white and blinding
I must find it here
I can see her waving
wading in the water
hair is plastered on her skin
dress is wet around the edges
freedom in a sun dress
exorcise the fear
no fire now lives here
I made it to the water
now I rest

Rosy the Riveter (2000)

I stretch and bend, release, extend
my body in a hundred poses
I hope to mend myself and then
to bloom among the roses

I'll be sweet
I'll be pristine
I'll be princess
I'll be queen

you may think to pluck me from this scene
but I feel compelled to warn thee:
my thorny dress will make a mess
of those who try to harm me

Ghostwriter (2007)

Oh this life is blurry and unstable
when seen through the thick lens
of a bottle of gin

I sit in the half-light
of candlelit midnight
and entertain ghosts
at my writing desk

Sylvia whispers into my ear
lullabies of too short life
and secrets of the underworld

grandmother sits at my sewing machine
fondles flowery fabrics
beneath her nimble digits

the little black bitch
curls up at my feet
chasing a squirrel in her sleep

there's an unhappy fog
hanging heavy round the room
as I suck and puff and
eventually snuff out my fire stick

I run my finger
through the condensation
bathing my glass
and touch it to my cheek
tracing the path of its salty cousin

my ghosts keep me company
when the world is away
and no lover comes to caress me

they circle me envious
of my pulse and breath and blood-heavy veins
and I, ungrateful beast, covet their community

Dimwit (2007)

this mind is a dim and cluttered place
opposing thoughts wage war for attention
dreams staging take-offs
new knowledge incoming

at a glance it seems terribly disordered
yet this madness has method -
meticulous and sensical

pale scribbled post-its
get filed away in
secret drawing rooms

great dusty tomes of experience
sit fat upon shelves
in the tea room

acres and acres of words
are planted tenderly and
tended gingerly

electric dyed data
is sewn into pockets
on skirt hems

the synapses fire and spark
making a discoteque
of this dark thought bubble
so I dance to the beat of my drummer

and smile

Mulch of Me (2007)

my roots are ancient
gnarled reaching fingers
clawing and grabbing
and dancing with earthworms

branches are cleaner
electric sap highways
with plumage green freedom
reaching for heaven

my trunk, though,
it's hollowing
secretly dying
riddled with parasites
gnawing, grating, devouring

my bark becomes tarnished
with wounds of the flesh
knife-carved graffiti
reminders of rapture

you are the woodsman
with sharp gleaming ax
doomed to destroy me
in all my lost majesty

now I'm in pieces
bits of sawdust and soul
and I shift and crumble
under the weight of your boots

Morning Reverie (2007)

this morning I woke with no cock crowing
quiet, alone, like a dormouse
I'm spent
I'm used up
I'm tossed aside
like a rag that you used
to change your oil

bourbon and gin
my two new best friends
try to comfort me as the moon rises
but the stars are all mocking me
paired off in the night
bright lovers who twinkle
in ecstatic secrets
which I, here alone, shall not know

still, the blanket of morning
seems enough to suspend this chill
morning breath of fog and dew
and whispers of waking children
and cereal boxes opening
and cold milk dropping into bowls

the morning gives me comfort
morning gives me strength
it's night that suffocates
and claws at my back
breathing it's searing stained breath
down my neck

black night with black thoughts
and no where salvation
trapped in this cell of my own
this hell I call home
wishing and waiting and wanting
and never being satisfied
never being served
where is what I've earned
I've been a careful student
and for what?
no gold stars
no hats with proud tassels
no graduation from this blackness

yet here is morning
and birds are singing
traffic clamors along the street
outside my bedroom
Life is out there
full of people
and experiences
and convenience stores

this life, however, is not convenient
this life is not convenient at all

Carcass (2007)

desire is a dubious mistress
and doubt a sadistic master
and I - I am an unwilling captive
shackled by regrets and rueful regressions
sullied by solitude
aching for acceptance
under the sinister tutelage
of guilt and shame
and looming lessons of
grave imperfection
my meager defenses make apt pupils
they rise through the ranks
become generals of grief
and admirals of apathy
until I am helplessly ostracized
from the healing hands of hope
by my own unwitting devices
demons of depravity
circle my bed
where once I lay dreaming
full of promise and peaceful
these demons devour me
one peck at a time
til this once lovely captive
turns carcass

Death of Alice (2003)

Alice on the chessboard
chasing down a pawn
the Queen crept up behind her
and now her head is gone.

The dormouse starting giggling
and the cheshire cat did grin.
The puffy caterpillar
smoked his hookah in my den.

Mad Hatter switched to decaf.
Dee and Dum got hitched.
The walrus killed the carpenter
with oyster shells he pinched.

I watched it all transpire
as I crawled up through this mound
and tipped my hat to the white rabbit
as he lie on the ground.

A bottle by his bootstrap
his watch upon his head
he mumbled underneath his breath,
"Alice lost her head ...
Alice lost her head ...
Alice lost her head ...
Now she's dead."